Mandy Hale once said, “As single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.” I’m not sure if you hear it enough, but you are a superwoman.
With every day that passes, no matter the number of things on your plate, you still wipe the sleep from your eyes and wake up to take on the day. No matter how restless of a night you had before. you place a smile upon your face and kiss your children on the cheek as you drop them off at school, daycare, or get them ready for virtual school.
As a single mom, there are constant struggles. Children, of course, come with difficulties. And when it comes to ourselves, it can be a constant battle of tug of war. We’re left wondering if there is any time for us to focus on ourselves. We constantly ask ourselves the questions: Am I being selfish? Am I doing enough for my kids? Am I doing enough for myself? I’m a mother, but I’m also still me, right? Did I lose myself? If so, how can I find myself again?
I know first hand about these questions because I ask myself the same ones most nights. I know the feelings of loneliness, sadness, guilt, and overall feeling overwhelmed. I know how hard it can be to keep pushing forward while wondering if you fall, who will catch you. I know the feeling of placing everything on your shoulders and worrying if you have the stamina to keep the pace. I know because I am you.
A single mom of two (yes two) one-year-olds (yes, pray for me). I constantly hear that seeing your children doing well should give you strength, but then I sometimes chuckle to myself because that might not always work when you’re frustrated from playing referee all day. So single moms reading this, my message to you is to feel. It’s ok to feel what you feel.
It’s ok not to be strong all the time. It’s even ok to take off your cape and wash it. You are an amazing mother and you are putting in the work to better not only your kids but yourself. You are a superwoman! Your body alone helped create and carry a whole human being for 8–9 months (maybe more than one at a time). You carried a child in your womb where your body changed and molded to support that child. You puuussshhhhed or was cut open to bring a life into this world. We, as women, are known as one of the few living things that can constantly bleed 3–8 days every month and still live to tell the tale.
If your baby is a newborn or adult, each day is proof that you are a fighter, you are a survivor, and you are beautiful inside and out. You are important, you are loved and you are extremely powerful. Motherhood isn’t a competition, but a journey. Your journey.
So take on the highs, take on the lows, and make sure to enjoy every bump along the way. I see you single mom and I know that you can conquer anything you put your mind to.
Anytime you feel like giving up, remind yourself not only of your kids but of everything you have accomplished (big or small) up to this point. It’s ok not to be able to do it all in one day. Lessen the pressure on yourself and be kinder and gentler to yourself.
Continue to be the anchor of your family and stand strong. Regina King adequately stated this about single motherhood, “It’s difficult, but far from impossible and we smile more than we cry.” So keep smiling and proudly put back on your cape, superwoman. Because as we know all too well, our cities (aka our kids and lives) never sleep (*virtual fist bump*) so let’s get to it!
A Fellow Superwoman